I am haunted by an incident that happened on the Metro yesterday when I was going to work. The train pulled into Berri-UQAM station and I got off and stood to one side, temporarily, to let people out (this is probably Montreal’s busiest Metro station). As I was doing so, this arrogant prick shoved me, hard, as he was getting off the train. Obviously, I was not getting out of the way fast enough for him.
I am in a very bad space these days and I shoved him back so hard, he almost fell over. I told him to fuck off and then turned to wait for the rest of the crowd to exit the train. There was a pretty, young woman standing in front of me and when he retaliated by viciously shoving me from behind, my body slammed her face into the window of the train. She started bawling and as I turned to take this guy out – the coward ran – fast. I was tempted to chase him but the girl was hurt – a big red welt coming up on her cheek. I was devastated and, as we piled back into the train, I did everything I could to console her.
I know I did not hurt her directly. The guy that hit me hurt her. However, if I had just not reacted and shrugged off his initial shove, no harm would have been done to anyone.
Why did I do that?
Once we got to Place D’Armes Metro, she had calmed down and I had dried her tears on my shirt sleeve.
Get this – she actually took my hand and told me not to worry. She told me that she had seen what had happened and that it was not my fault.
She forgave me.
I have not been able to do the same yet.